Season’s Greetings 2012
Dear Readers,
This is just a note to say I will be posting again very soon and thank you all for your kind words since my last posting.
Sincerely,
Blackangelfish 2012
Dear Readers,
This is just a note to say I will be posting again very soon and thank you all for your kind words since my last posting.
Sincerely,
Blackangelfish 2012
Dear All,
I watched the President Elect Barack Obama deliver a very moving speech to the World, Nov 5, 2008 European Time.
I had opted to view the results without fanfare or the hustle and bustle of being politically correct. I being an America Democrat abroad and a registered voter, not to mention Black decided the best place to follow the results would be at home, where I could be by myself, to collect my thoughts whatever the outcome. To put it even more bluntly, I was exhausted. I didn’t want to have to explain, myself, my vote, or my stance.
Never in my life did I give myself so fully to a campaign. On the work place, in the shops, at the bank, on the trains, all very international settings as only Amsterdam could produce, I found myself stressing the need for us all, Black, White, Red, Yellow and Brown, all men, of all colors to be courageous while being hopeful.
Often I was told, by some very concerned voices that, “America would never put a Black man in Office? Their doubt, their reasoning, – resting on America’s racist past. Many mentioned to me, that America was still, fundamentally, a racist nation, which would drive me nearly insane, but not fully, thank God. What was most frustrating then was, the time before the elections, if a black man said anything about being discriminated against or pointed out to any inequality, he would be labeled, a trouble-maker and a rebel rouser. No one wanted to listen, when a black man said it was frustrating trying to make it in a world where the cards were/are stacked against him. I stood at the threshold of insanity with many asking the same question many like me, before me asked, “Why should I wait on peace when there seems to be none for my struggles?”
I must admit the more I learned the more it would seem like the possible (dream) was an impossible task until that day, some weeks ago, when it hit all of us, that a change was necessary. I watched as CNN in an unprecedented move announced Senator Obama’s, win, announcing him, the 44th President of the United States. I almost couldn’t hear his speech, for thinking about all the other speeches I read, when conditions were not so right. When men, who wanted their liberty (our liberties today), had to put their life on the line so that everyone would know, not only the man, but every man know, we all have a right to life, liberty and justice. I thought about the Black men of my history who paved the road we ride upon with their stomachs touching ground, their sweat, tears, and blood cementing the groundwork.
In that moment, I was stopped first by their testimony, and my own. I was able to embrace Obama’s then, I remembered to jot down that moment, but decided against doing anything excepting feeling the moment. I realized we were the reason for the revolution. We were given life to expand hearts and minds, to expand our own knowledge, we all play a part in the chain of human progress. We all built for victory! What a great win for Barack Obama and what a testimony his story is, and will be, to all mankind.
Thought I would just say…
Peace,
BAF
With three poets, and songs too. All in English.
Tuesday 22 April, 20:30h.
Location: Nikki Broos Portet Amsterdam
Binnen Bantammerstraat 4
Amsterdam
www.nikkibroosportretamsterdam.nl
www.lilykiara.nl
www.blackangelfish.com
limited seatings! please make reservations at: sibylsings@lilykiara.nl
Dr. King, so moved by the sentiments of the men concerned, would explain his reasoning for entering the Vietnam debate in what can only be best described as the greatest piece of literature I have ever read, Dr. King’s speech is titled, “Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break Silence”
In the speech Dr. King states: “The truth of these words is beyond doubt but the mission to which they call us is a most difficult one,” he stressed on “speaking up.”
His speech further outlined: “Even when pressed by the demands of inner truth, men do not easily assume the task of opposing their government’s policy, especially in time of war. Nor does the human spirit move without great difficulty against all the apathy of conformist thought within one’s own bosom and in the surrounding world. Moreover when the issues at hand seem as perplexed as they often do in the case of this dreadful conflict we are always on the verge of being mesmerized by uncertainty; but we must move on. Some of us who have already begun to break the silence of the night have found that the calling to speak is often a vocation of agony, but we must speak. We must speak with all the humility that is appropriate to our limited vision, but we must speak. And we must rejoice as well, for surely this is the first time in our nation’s history that a significant number of its religious leaders have chosen to move beyond the prophesying of smooth patriotism to the higher grounds of firm dissent based upon the mandates conscience and the reading of history. Perhaps a new spirit is rising among us. If it is, let us trace its movements well and pray that our own inner being may be sensitive to its guidance, for we are deeply in need of a new way beyond the darkness that seems so close around us.”
As tension are building fuelling political fires in almost every part of the world (today) what is needed most of all is a movement towards certainty and calm, noting history is only important if it helps with our future.
To read Dr. King’s April 04, 1967 Speech: “Beyond Vietnam : A Time to Break Silence by Rev. Martin Luther King, click on the link below:
http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/45a/058.html.
I found out that I love 5-star hotels and friendly people and Black jokes and Whites’ too, as long as it is told by an old, good friend.
I have decided to turn back on the television set now that I know it is me who must draw the line. No more trying to be perfect. Perfect, didn’t save the Greeks, the Romans, the French, the Germans, nor the Spanish; and it won’t save me. Fashion and reason don’t do much for stinky people with no dreams of cleaning up, but we all stink sometimes.
Everybody stinks; the needy, the hopeful, just like the ignorant. And, hell yes, the players stinks, the suckers, the masses, the fish and the high-rollers, they all stink. Traditions or propaganda subtle to a fool or one misguided reeks of decay.
However, we must go on, we are about growth; and beside, everybody knows we humans can’t resist the urge to change.
Maybe I’ll stop smoking.
Written by Fitzgerald Brown, introducing the new title, Bridges 2007: a book of poems and prose
(In response to the call of life)
I should be angry if it wasn’t for the oath
Life has never been easy and the weak still fall
Like landmines exploding in my mind
I’d go
Naked
If it hadn’t been done before
So I went down to the river
Pining like one pining for gold
Or a lost love
I pined for
A reflection of myself
Before the dream
Before the industry and the excitement
Before I arrived at the edge
Away from myself
Passing ships are calling
Free your mind
The flag ship is closing in
Prepare for the coming
Dress your houses and want no more
The wind shifts to the
Trees
Trees are to be revered, enjoyed
And the songs of birds should be mocked
Every word should be a joyful one
And march on
I should be angry, If it wasn’t for the coming
Raindrops sent one by precious one
By Fitzgerald Brown
She doesn’t understand me
My belly is growing
She tells me, I’m pregnant
My breast have swollen
My feet, back and shoulders ache
Everything seems to annoy me or
Makes me sentimental
And no one understands me
I guess I must be pregnant
By Fitzgerald Brown
I am a firm believer that we are simply no more than our attention. Many of you have noticed that I haven’t been writing that much on my Blog, of recent. The reason has been because of the changeover, or the New Year.
I believe everyone needs to take time from his busy schedule to reflect on the world around him. Many people go, in and out, of each New Year and right into the next, without reflecting on last year’s success and its failures.
Around November through December, is when I began the process of self- inventory. Which is no easy process, let me tell you. But it was a process that I could not ignore.
In my evaluation I discovered in 2006 my focus was on becoming a voice for the common man. I wanted to be one of the capable, who would champion the cause of the weak and the incapable in this war of the riches. That is, what the fuss really is all about anyway- the riches. Thankfully, no one has to assume, why we struggle, like we do. The explanation of want and desire heralds every conflict worldwide. The poor want this and the rich want to keep that; and, we struggle.
In coming out of 2006, which for me was a year of revolution and revelation I have decided to make 2007 the year of peace and focus.
I realize man cannot help wanting the things he wants. And I know the reason or reasons will always be personal and justifiable in his mind. That would lead me to the discovery that in the absence of the struggle is peace. And, peace is what we need most above all things.
While we move into the New Year, the Year 2007, I want to encourage all of you to embrace the New Year and focus on whatever it is, you love.
Peace,
Black Angelfish
who am i?
Who am I, I am your brother like the
night Train whistling a tune
on a new day. I got rhythm, I got music,
I got my life, who could ask for anything more.
Catch me if you can
Blackangelfish
By Fitzgerald Brown
Dear Readers, A piece from my story: Notes of an African American on the Run…
As a child growing up in Charleston, South Carolina often I would drift away, from the many contradictions and conflicts I found around me and would dare to dream the American Dream.
Much later in life, I would have the opportunity of living out that dream in Europe and it would be the years, which I’d spent in Amsterdam, leading up to the September 11, 2001 Attack on America I would begin to realize that I was a drifter, living an immature man’s dream in Europe with little regard to the African American dream of equality, which I abandoned when I arrived in Amsterdam, almost some 10 years ago.
The part of my life that I would spend in Europe after September 11, 2001 is the time of my life I would gain an important insight into my past frustrations which would generate a spiritual reconciliation which I needed in order to reconcile all that I was feeling inside. I found that part (of me) locked away and buried in my childhood memories. The essence of all man, (the Good) in me, perfect in every way, but made to feel imperfect in an imperfect world.
I was younger; I’d just arrived in Amsterdam. As I exited the Central Train Station, I opened my eyes to a magical new world. A sea of orange and I was wearing white. I stuck out like an elephant among the thousands of human pedestrians that filled the international city streets, in honor of the Queen of Orange’s Birthday. I was large and the city was in a state. Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed a city like Amsterdam could really exist. Written descriptions do the city little justice.
Mythical, were my first days and months, which soon turned into years. I was lost among the talented, the bright, the indifferent, in a place where coffee and sex were had, early. Open gardens with ancient legendary homes, canals, rowboats, prostitutes, bicycles, trams and fairytale bridges, coupled with outside cafes, whoresons, beautiful people, young and old helped me to forget my earlier days of endless roaming, hiding and concessions.
My life was a series of unanswered questions and mixed up dreams. I was caught in the middle, a reactionary. I struggled to understand the meaning of it all, which was kept away from me due to what I now attribute to my immaturity.
I was a victim; that was my role, never starring, but always in attendance; Fitzgerald Brown. Life for me was one constant struggle. I always felt I had to do what was expected of me, which I always tried to do, not necessarily because I felt it or wanted to, but most shockingly, because I believed I had no choice.
From day one, my life was someone else’s great accomplishment (my parents). I was but a mere feature. All my life, I would try to romanticize my conception and birth, but, for the life of me; I could not understand why it had to be me. There is a song out now by an unknown new British artist, called Wicked and I’m Lazy, that best describes my feelings about myself before September 11, 2001.
Even in a liberal, tolerate, environment such as the Netherlands, I could not help but notice the many young males “junks” as they’re called in Europe, predominately men of color, wandering the streets and alleyways of Amsterdam, shadow-figures among the many privileged in Amsterdam’s open and international city. This sight for me, as a Black male, was thought-provoking, worrying and downright scary.
That’s when I decided I would put my thoughts on paper, not knowing if they would ever be read by anyone else. I assembled a few notes and sent it to a friend who then suggested I try to get them published. After receiving my share of rejection letters from various publishers in Holland, I then decided to extend my search beyond the Netherlands. To my surprise my article, Notes of an African American would be published in the summer 2003, Ten Year Anniversary Issue of the UK’s oldest Diversity Magazine, New Impact giving voice to my perspective of an African American in Europe. However it would be the amazing response generated from the article that would prompt me to -publish my notes, The Gospel Truth, Notes of an African American on the Run – A Black Man’s Guide to Europe and the rest of the world.
My book details what I now affectionately call the “inner” journey to a deeper understanding of the collective SELF, and reminds us all, that life is our inheritance. Through my genuine love for writing I have come to embrace the journey we all must make to a new understanding and in doing so reflect “hope” to souls that have been darkened by fear and pain. Following the release of my book in 2005, I began the Black Angelfish Network in Amsterdam, NL.
The mission of the Black Angelfish website is to provide a place for like-minded souls to come together and exchange ideas and opinions, that will encourage and inspire others to go deeper beyond traditional borders to extracting the gold that is within us all.
Peace,
Blackangelfish